Yes, I did watch the video about 15 odd couples whom you cant get out of your head. And yes, there was a man there who married himself. That is really not my case. I’ve been with my man for over ten years, married for two years. He asked many times before but I kept saying “Maybe latter”. Until I said “Yes!”. As you can imagine he is very patient and must love me a lot.
When we got married, we decided to wear our rings on the right hand. Here in Estonia its not 100% fixed how to wear the rings. Due to his work he soon transferred the ring onto his left hand. He did not want to brake it or even worse, loose his finger. For a year and a half mine still stayed in the right hand. Until I started to notice how it got stuck in the strangest places. The ring even made a blister into my right hand. The ring acted up in ways ones wedding ring should not behave. So I had no choice but to move it to the other hand. Now me and my husband are equal again.
Few months pasted. The ring was happy and I was happy. Husband was happy too. Until I felt like Im out of balance. Everything seemed to draw left. I was not centred. And to top it of I felt that my right hand demands a ring too. Not just any ring but a new wedding ring. Crazy right! Why on earth should I get married again and even more importantly to whom? Estonia might be many things but polygamy is not an official option here.
The urge to get a wedding ring did not go away. So few days ago I decided “Fine! I´ll just buy the ring myself and put it on my finger also myself!”. I went to the first jewellery shop on my way. They did not have it in my size. That was a sing that I don´t need another golden ring. Almost next to the jewellery shop was a place that sold crystals. They had rings made from agate. In all kinds of colours. They were beautiful and a white one fitted my finger perfectly. I did not take it off and just went to the register. The urge disappeared right there. Thank you Universe for also saving me a lot of money! Price difference between gold ring or agate one is noticeable.
I decided that with the new wedding ring on my finger I also at least need a wedding cake. Next stop – cafe!
While eating that lovely chocolate cake I wondered, what did it all mean. What does a wedding ring mean, what does it symbolise. For some it might be the sign that from the wedding day on you are tethered down. Restricted in your options, restricted in your movements and decisions. To me it is a sign of commitment. On my left hand I wear the sing that shows I am committed to my husband, to my children, to our life together. But this kind of commitment might also lead to committing with all our harts to others and in doing so we tend to forget about ourselves. It is so easy to lose yourself in others. Putting this other wedding ring on my finger, doing it my self, was truly my commitment to myself, to my path. It was the initiation for a priestess on her path.
Im no longer lost in others. Im centred again. I feel whole again. And if I should try to loose myself in others again, I have the ring on my right hand to remind me that the focus should stay within me and on my path.
Time to celebrate! I got married! To myself!